(Family Magazine May 2012 4th Issue)Katy Lee / Justin Yee
From the time our children are born, we begin to teach them independence. We cheer them on as toddlers to walk on their own. We celebrate the day they tie their own shoes. We donned them with a new backpack as they enter the first day of kindergarten.
But when they turn 18, are they ready to be independent? Have we prepared them adequately to be thriving adults? What more do we need to teach them besides cooking and doing the laundry?
We can learn valuable lessons from Justin Yee, a young man now graduated from college, as he looks back and shares from his experience. With transparency he tells of his own shortcomings as well as successes that transpired in his transition to college life.
Justin: “The type of child I was during elementary school was really self-centered. I relied heavily on my mother for backing, I was really taken cared of but that in a way hurt me because I was irresponsible and tended to get in trouble. That became a habit. Responsibility and trust were not implanted in me.”
“I did not have any responsibility because my main job was to get good grades and have fun. I had no sense of duty or obligation to anything important. I often did well in school but did not try my hardest or used my potential. School was the focal point of my duty and obligation but development and responsibility was my greatest downfall after high school.”
While we strive to provide a good life for our children, making life easy for them in fact is not in their best interest. We need to gradually increase their level of responsibility by assigning them chores to do around the house, giving them an allowance to budget, and teaching them to manage their own time. By holding them accountable for unfinished tasks and allowing them to suffer the consequences of their actions, they can learn to regulate themselves when they live on their own.
Justin: “When I started college, I joined a business club and my time and efforts were solely devoted to it. I skipped classes and missed assignments and eventually failed two classes out of three that I was taking that quarter. I still did not have a sense of urgency or responsibility until my mentor my god brother made me realize that I was growing up and I needed to man up because in order to succeed I needed a college education. From the next quarters on I would not fail any courses and would do well within my studies to prove to myself and my parents I could be responsible for my destiny. Putting effort into my education yielded rewards not only for myself but also my parents.”
If we merely push our children to get good grades, they fail to see the bigger picture of success in life. We can challenge them as Justin’s mentor did to “man up” by teaching them to strive for not just educational success, but with a goal of what they can do beyond school.
Justin: “When I started college responsibility hit me like a ton of bricks because I had to take care of everything myself. For example, I rarely kept track of homework assignments. Time was also another thing that I could not keep track of I had the freedom to do anything since I was in charge. With this new freedom I could go out and hang out with friends or join a club. College was a new adventure to grow and evolve, unfortunately I was a late bloomer.”
“Education can teach things that can and make people smart but it’s the parents who can raise their children to make smart decisions which, in my humble opinion, matters more than grades. Grades are basically determined from memorized texts or formulas that will more than likely be forgotten. But habits and values are the basis of who a person is and the good that he/she can do with his/her life.”
To help our children make wise decisions, we can teach them practical tools such as time management skills and organizational skills. But more importantly, to truly live a good life, we need to model for them godly values that comes from following Jesus Christ.
From Justin’s experiences, we see that preparation for adulthood begins while the child is young. With a future perspective in mind, our role is to parent our children to live responsibly and keep the family values that we teach them day to day.free game for androidоптимизация сайта отзывыкак стать хакером урок 3wihack mobile отзывы